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Friday, February 21, 2014

say it...(be brave and be confident)

-I wanna say it,just need to be brave and be confident ...

Be Brave:
Some memories were dated back to my primary school,that whole period,all my classmates call me "fake girl" which means outside a boy,inside a girl,and thanks to this label,i was kind of famous around school.My fame is based on daily-sarcasm,to be frank,i really do not enjoy my stay-in-school moment,and every day when i was entering into that school gate,i was thinking,"Oh,god,what terrible things will happen to me,will those kid actors laugh at me? or they imitate my girl-manners ? Or  will teachers will question me in front of the whole class ? please let me be safe through today,because those situations i mentioned will tear my self-respect apart".But,second thought,just let it go,i get used to what they done to me,and not only in primary school,but also in middle school,high school,even now i am studying abroad,words and short,where i show up myself i definitely will get some gossips.

If counts,there are two male metamorphosis periodically kiss me or let me kiss them,those two who inspire my potentials of gay-forming.I really do not know should i hate them or should i thank them.Now i can easily handle my gay-problem,but at the beginning,i was so confused about this subject.Honestly,i was not sorry for being a gay,but what about my parents? Will they accept the true side of me? With my growth,there must be one day which i should be face to my parents,i dare not imagine their looks.I even do have some backup plans to handle with the situations which my mum will cry to syncope,my dad must be with a worried frown,and all the relatives ridicule.Sorry,mum,dad,your son have no choice,the gay-me is not my fault either yours,maybe i can be selfish to blame it this on gad,or on that two fucking freaks,i swear no matter how you (mum and dad) will treat me,i am your son forever,and love you forever.

Be Confident:
There is one thing that i even in dream always wanna do,you know because i have formed my "Sexual Orientation" early which i prefer to male,so there is no doubt that i have some sexual fantasies on some young hot guys.Frankly,i have already taken aim at some Italian boys at my university,i dream them almost every single night,and i am now trying to figure out how to confess my emotion to those blonde-hairs-blue-eyes boys,but i bet my failure must be the result,even though some researches have pointed that everyone no matter male or female,has the potential being a gay or lesbian,i am still wondering how much that possibilities of potential that i can excite out,i think this possibility depends on my charm,my look,and my personality.Yeah,depends on me,ok,that is bad,because i am not confident,even though so far i have got lots of complements on my look,mainly on my style,i still kind of ... Suck it,you know sometime when you wanna something so bad,you just can not think too much,i tell myself "come,Royal,do not let your inferiority holds you back, be yourself,be confident..". Thinking of this,i self-take some pictures in front of mirror to gain confidence (until i am done writing this post,i have not confessed to any of those Italian boys,Shame on me !)

Even seeing those two images,god knows i am a gay,how can a straight guy takes picture like the way i do,and i can also see i am in a gay figure.Any,this post is just my confession,but "say it" is a process of "be yourself" and "be brave",and what comes after "say it" is "do it".Stay back,maybe my next confession is "do it".Good night,everyone,XoXo.

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